Growing

We’re always growing, right? In life. In faith. In writing. In everything. Everything we do, we’re always growing. We’re always looking for people to affirm us. To make us feel good about ourselves, right? Well, I don’t know about you but I certainly do. . .I’m sad to say that I put far too much reliance on what other people say about me. . . . Should I, though? Where is the line drawn? When should I stop listening and stop being dragged down?

I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to pour my heart onto this page. I’m going to be vulnerable for you. Please bear with me. This is not easy for me to write.

I put too much of my self-esteem on what other people say about me. Mainly the people that always find fault with me. The people who rarely have anything positive to say about me. The people who run me down and make me believe that I’m a terrible person. And I hide it. I’m scared of what people would think if they knew how deeply their and other people’s words cut me. So, I hide. I don’t grow. I struggle day after day to understand why people love me or care about me. Because I stunted my own growth. It’s my fault, really. No. The people shouldn’t have said what they did to me. They were WRONG. I’m not justifying bullies. Not in the slightest. But I gave them power. I LET them control me. I LET them affect me. I didn’t stop listening.  I LET their words take over my life. I LET myself believe them. I stopped growing because of them. Because of what I LET myself do.

There comes a time in everything when you need to step back a reevaluate. Even in writing. Do I continue to LET them affect me? Or do I stop listening and chose to believe in reality?

In reality, I’m not a failure. In reality, I don’t deserve to die. In reality, I have potential. In reality, people love me. In reality, I can make it through this life without disappointing everyone. In reality, I’m me. In reality, I can only be the best that can be. In reality, I have friends that care about me.

In reality, You have potential. In reality, You can do whatever you put your mind to. In reality, You are important. In reality, You are special. In reality, You matter. In reality, You are and will be a success. In reality, You can survive. In reality, You deserve to live. In reality, You have people that care and love you. In reality, You are you. In reality, You can only be your best. . .not someone else’s best.

In everything, we can be our best. In our writing, in our relationships, in our life, we can only be OUR best. Not someone else’s. It’s time to let go.

YOU are going to soar and be the best person you can be. In everything. Don’t let people run you down. Listen to their constructive criticism. But don’t let it tear your self-esteem to ribbons. YOU deserve better. YOU are valid. YOU can’t let other people control how you see yourself. YOU can take their advice and suggestions and criticism. But not to the point that it tears you up inside. There’s a line. Draw it and grow. Soar like a bird. YOU deserve it.

I don’t know why I’ve been wishing
You’ll come around
I let you catch me walking with
My chin to the ground

Gotta get my head back on my shoulders
Gotta set my sight to the sky
I need to make it right
And let you own me
But tonight I fly

And I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m go
And you’ll, you’ll, you’ll watch me soar
I’ve been chained to the bottom
Caged like a bird

I’ve been judged
I’ve been bullied
But I couldn’t say a word

If I’m ain’t getting higher
And you watch me from the dirt

You can’t reach me
You can’t touch me
Watch me soar like a bird
Watch me soar like a bird

I don’t know how I let you
Become my whole life
I was just a dreamer
But you pushed that aside

Now I’m in the cloud
But I’m not sleeping
Tried to shove me down
But I’m awake

 

I let you get the best I had offer
But my dreams you cannot take

And I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m go
And you’ll, you’ll, you’ll, you’ll watch me soar
I’ve been chained to the bottom
Caged like a bird

I’ve been judged
I’ve been bullied
But I couldn’t say a word

If I’m ain’t getting higher
And you watch me from the dirt

You can’t reach me
You can’t touch me
Watch me soar like a bird
Watch me soar like a bird

 Alyssa Reid – Watch Me Soar Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Watch Me Soar- Alyssa Reid cover

 

4 thoughts on “Growing

  1. The hard thing, I find, is to hold on to the realization you express here. But do–especially in the face of the next deriding comment you’re faced with. Years ago, I was greatly helped by a sermon that reminded me: life is a spiritual battle. Somehow, I started listening to all the criticism/neglect/abuse/subtle digs/implied or perceived insults that came my way with the attitude that they had nothing to do with the particulars of what was said or done. What they had to do with was destroying *me*–which is the aim of any spiritual attack*. *And, since that was NOT God’s agenda, I wrote myself a pass, and declared inwardly that I would pay attention to the *intent* rather than the *content *of what they said/did. (The Devil’s intent, not necessarily the speaker’s. People have no idea, half the time, of the effect of their words.) Somehow, this permission I granted myself, long ago, opened up so much freedom in my heart. I still fall into self-criticism, sure, but I don’t fall as hard when I remember that, if it tore me down, I have full permission to ignore it. God adores you and has victories planned for you. The Devil would love to thwart those victories with attacks and malice–“fiery darts.” If it feels like a fiery dart, you have permission to ignore it. God is well able to get a kindly correction through to you without it being coated in despair and hopelessness. Good post, BTW.

    Mary Coons http://www.MaryCoonsDesigns.com

    On Fri, Jun 15, 2018 at 10:35 AM, Into A Looking Glass wrote:

    > Delores posted: “We’re always growing, right? In life. In faith. In > writing. In everything. Everything we do, we’re always growing. We’re > always looking for people to affirm us. To make us feel good about > ourselves, right? Well, I don’t know about you but I certainly do. ” >

    Liked by 1 person

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